5 Signs you care too much about others opinion of you
Coming for someone who cares too much
By Grace K. Bianco
Let’s be honest… We all care a little bit. There isn’t a soul on this Earth who could convince they don’t care what people think of them (even if it’s just a very specific group of people). We are human. We seek out connections with other humans. It’s just a part of life.
It’s a spectrum, but everyone falls on it somewhere. As for me, I would probably put myself on the very top. The one who is overly obsessive. I am not proud of it, but I’d classify myself as a master at it. (I say “master” sarcastically.)
As someone who is very aware of this issue of mine, I am here to show you all the biggest signs I notice in myself and in others like me. Together, we can help each other.
- You care too much. I bet you wouldn't have guessed that one. It’s simple the first sign you struggle with caring about what people think of you is that you catch yourself obsessively caring. You seek acceptance and get frustrated if you don’t get it.
- You have to be liked. Whether you want to be friends or not, you crave positive attention from others. When you overhear a conversation that isn’t so great in your favor, you suddenly must have that person’s acceptance. You may have never even thought to be friends with that person, but once they don’t find you as great as you want them to, you now want to be friends.
- You overanalyze almost every single conversation. You find yourself lying awake at night reflecting on conversations. You probably could have said something better. Maybe everyone else is also thinking about that conversation, and who knows, they may not like how you said something. Some way or another, you messed up.
- You avoid controversy. The thought of having to argue makes your stomach tighten. How is anyone going to like you if you argue too much or say the wrong thing in a disagreement? Your whole day is ruined, because you slipped and argued back. Will that person ever forgive you? Who knows?
- You can’t take criticism. You really screwed up if someone has to correct you. You spend your whole day beating yourself up and criticizing your every move, but the second someone else may notice a place in need of improvement, it’s time to just give up completely. It was the final tipping point. You are working over time to please everyone around you, and you still screwed up.
If I just wrote your almost daily thought process, welcome to the club. So, what now?
To be honest, I haven’t gotten over this myself, but there are things that help me. I talk about it to people who do like me. They remind me that it is impossible to be liked by everyone. I mean even Jesus was disliked by many.
The hard truth is many people will dislike us throughout our lives. There is no way of getting around this. Although we are all human, we all have different ideas and ways of doing life. Sometimes, our thoughts and ways don’t fit together, and that is okay. We aren’t all robots.
As hard as that is to accept (TRUST ME, I KNOW), we can take comfort in knowing that there will always be many people who come along in our life who will adore us.
Life is too short to care about being liked. Instead, focus on being a nice person. If you can go to bed at night knowing that you truly tried to be the best you can be, there’s really nothing more you can do.
Most importantly, find your identity in Christ. Why be accepted in a fallen world when you can be accepted into a perfect kingdom?
