“I broke up with a guy after being together for fourteen years. I quit my job, and moved from Michigan to Florida.” — My College Professor
The above quote is very important to keep in mind throughout this blog. I will tell you my story, and why you should do the “same” thing. But really my advice goes back to that one strange “speech” my college professor gave us.
Honestly when she said it, my eyebrows kind of raised. “How could you leave someone you had been with for fourteen years like it was nothing? Then, move away from everything you know for a different job?”, I thought to myself. I stopped my thoughts quickly. I felt like I was judging. I would soon realize that I wasn’t judging. I was wondering how she had the courage to make the changes she did.
What is YOUR dream?
Some people think their answer has to be really complex. Their dream is to travel the world and build houses for the homeless. Some dream of being famous. While others dream of stability, whether in their family life or finances or both.
Whether your dream is big or small, have you met it? Are you working towards it? Or is it simply still a daydream?
For me, I have always wanted to be a housewife / stay-at-home mom. It was something I had dreamed of since I was super young. I wanted that fairytale romance you saw in Disney movies. To be a mom, you first had to become a wife.
My parents didn’t have any more babies after I was born. At thirteen, they did end up adopting a three year old girl. From as a young as I can remember, I always wanted to help out with my friend’s little siblings. I always wanted to babysit. When we finally did adopt my little sister, I did a lot of her care-taking.
I was born with that instinct to nurture children. I began babysitting at only eleven years old, because I always gained trust from our neighbors.
Well, you can’t just wake up one day, and suddenly say, “I am going to apply to be a mom today.” So, I am here to share how I changed my life around, got a job that was similar enough, and found other dreams along the way.
Leap of Faith
I loved school. I didn’t mind the studying, the homework, the projects, and the tests. I loved making good grades and trying really hard. I had twenty-four college credit hours by the time I graduated high school.
It was never in question whether or not I would go to college. For most of high school, I thought I wanted to be a Kindergarten Teacher. Then halfway through senior year, I decided I wanted to be an ultrasound technician. Over the summer, I signed up for college classes that would help work towards that career.
I would get moments of doubt here and there, but I still hardly let myself even slightly entertain the idea of not going to college.
Four days into going to college full-time, I dropped out. I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do instead, but I knew that college was no longer in God’s plan for me. Dropping out was a huge leap of faith, but I trusted that God had something better in mind.
I ended up becoming a nanny, and I continued to live with my parents to save majority of my money. Nannying ended up being a great job for me. I was getting paid more than I would have as a babysitter, and I spent five days a week taking care of two little boys. At the end of the day, I could give them back.
I thought that would be the end of my leaps of faith, at least for a little while, but I was just getting started.
What is holding you back? Do you need to leave your job? Drop out of college? Switch majors? Or simply just start a new project?
Before I get into this next topic, I don’t want it to seem like leaving your partner will solve all of your problems. If you are married, I am never going to suggest divorce unless you are getting abused or cheated on.
I dated the same guy throughout high school. I broke up with him once in high school, and immediately wanted him back. It took almost another year before I left for good. We had been together almost four years. We had started dating when I was only fourteen, and I was eighteen by the time it was over.
Just like the quote from my college professor, I left a relationship of many years. The relationship wasn’t good for either of us. The fighting just never seemed to stop, and we were growing up in two different ways.
I spent so much time grieving our relationship while we were still together. Once we broke up, I only cried for four days. I got out of bed and as my mom said, “You just got out of bed one day, and it was like you were a completely different person.”
I didn’t know when I would find another man. I didn't know when I would get married. All I knew was that I could date whoever I wanted to date. I could have all the standards in the world. I began to grow excited and wondered who God would bring into my life next.
I ended up meeting my now husband almost exactly a year later. A year and a month after meeting, we got married. I am now a housewife, and hopefully in a couple of years, I will get to be the stay-at-home mom I always dreamed about.
So, you see when I say drop “everything," I mean the things that aren’t doing you any good. The things that are holding you back.
In the process of dropping out, breaking-up, and finding love again, I began writing. I found another dream on top of my other dreams. I ended up taking another leap of faith, and signed up for a book creator program. At the time, I only had a title and a slight idea. I wrote the book in under a year and had to raise $4,000 to be able to publish. I became a published author at age twenty.
I didn’t have to really “drop” anything for my book. I just had to trust that I would be able to do it. I had to leave the uncertainty behind, and work extra hard to meet such a large goal.
We may continue to dream after making some dreams happen, but a dream doesn’t always mean leaving a person / people behind. You may just give up a little screen time or sell a few items to raise money. It could just be a little change. Maybe, what you leave behind is just metaphoric.
My husband is now my priority. I am obviously not going to drop him to follow a dream now, but also, it means I am not going to over step a boundary to get to a new dream. Dreams are good, but a good dream should never mess up an old dream that became real.
Becoming a wife was my first dream, I will continue to tend to and love my dream come true. I will chase my dream of writing. If another dream comes up, I will run to it but with God and my husband right beside me.
Drop “everything” and follow your dreams, but don’t lose sight of the good you have already. Leave what is bad, but hold onto what is good.
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