Easier Version of a Military Wife
Here’s how WE do it…
By Grace K. Bianco
“The first night my husband was away for his weeklong business trip, I cried. I, immediately, thought of you.”
First and foremost, I want to put a HUGE emphasis on easier. I was inspired to make that title, because my husband and I were actually told by someone after we explained our situation, “Oh, it’s like an easier version of being in the military.” I have a lot of respect for couple’s who are able to do the military life. I do not want this to look like I am undermining them or making it seem like our life circumstances are anywhere near as hard.
What Does My Husband Do
My husband is a Radiation Protection Technician. His job can get wordy, and after being told exactly what he does multiple times, I still get confused. I will spare you all the google search though.
Google’s definition for a Radiation Protection Technician : “monitor levels of radiation contamination to protect personnel in nuclear power facilities and the surrounding environment.”
His job is seasonal. He only works in the fall and spring. When I say only works in the fall and spring, I mean it. The winter and summer months, he doesn’t have to lift a finger.
When we tell people that, they say something like, “Oh my gosh, what job is that? I want to go months without working.” Our response is almost always the same, “It’s two extremes.”
See during the months he does work, he works twelve hour shifts six days a week. He eats, sleeps, and works. There is very little time for other things. He goes from a strict structured schedule to nothing at all. There is always an adjustment.
The Long Distance Aspect
It would be a lot more manageable if he had this crazy work schedule, and we got to be home all year. However, part of his job is to travel to whatever plant he is needed at. This means every work season he has to find housing in some random state near a plant (which means sharing a house with a coworker or a random online stranger).
We met December 7, 2019, and by February 10, 2020, he had to leave for Mississippi. When he was home, he was still living with his parents, and I was also living with mine both in South Carolina. He was staying in a not so nice airbnb ten hours away from me.
I was able to visit him for two days after a month of not seeing him. We were able to text quite a bit, and we FaceTimed for an hour every single night. He was there for right under three months before he had to travel to Columbia, South Carolina for another job but was put on night shift.
He drove home for a few days to see me before the Columbia outage started. I visited him once in Columbia. Thankfully, he was there for a little under a month, and then, he came home for the summer. It was a lot on a new couple, but we made it through much easier than I thought we would.
We got engaged that summer (August 17, 2020). On September 10, he left for Minnesota. It was a thirty day outage, and once again, it was night shift. We decided I would not visit.
After the thirty days were over in Minnesota, he was transferred to TN, and thankfully, he was put on dayshift. I was able to stay with him for a week or so at a time due to being on unemployment (because of Covid). I had to travel back and forth quite bit. A five month engagement put a lot of pressure on getting things down quickly for our wedding.
He made it home right before Thanksgiving. We got married in January meaning for most of our engagement, I had to take care of the planning back home alone.
How We Handled It After Marriage
On February 22, we drove separately to Alabama. Unfortunately, he was put on night shift. Again, that would mean 12 hour nights and only one day off a week. I would now be a little over six hours away from my family, and alone 95% of the time.
I tried to stay up late, and sleep in with him. It worked for awhile, but then, my grandmother passed away. I had to travel to Georgia for her funeral, and travel back to South Carolina for a doctor’s appointment. My sleep schedule became horrendous while I was away. When I went back to Alabama, the loneliness and mental / physical exhaustion from grieving and sleep deprivation became a lot.
When he was transferred to TN and put on night shift again, I spent most of the time back home in South Carolina. I travelled there for a quick visit once, and my husband surprised me with a quick visit home once as well. Being long distance married was more difficult than when we were just dating/engaged, but thankfully, it was only temporary.
That entire work season ended up lasting a little over two months.
Moving Forward
We are so thankful for this job. I get to be a housewife and follow my dream of becoming a writer. My husband is a hard worker, who doesn’t mind the work. We are debt free and financially stable.
It isn’t easy with all the travel and trying to find a low cost and decent place to stay every outage. (His work gives him a certain amount of money to go towards housing, but he has to find a place by himself.) We made it work as a newly dating couple, an engaged couple, and a married couple. It is a lot of trial and error to figure out what is best for the both of us, and each season will most likely look a different from the last.
We have enjoyed our four month summer vacation together, and we actually leave this weekend for Alabama. He just has training in AL, and then, he will work at two different plants in TN for the entire fall work season.
We do not know if he is on nights or days yet. Depending on whether he has nights and days, it will help me know just how much traveling I will have to do. I know either way I will have to travel back and forth some, because my oldest sister is due in October. I’ll be at home more if he is on nights or with him more if he is on days.
Our Longterm Future
As newlyweds, who do not plan on having babies for a couple of years, this crazy work schedule is fine. Our prayer is that God will open doors, and my husband will get a home job at a plant soon. This would be a year round job, and we would be able to buy a house near whatever plant that may be.
I trust God in whatever our future ends up looking like. God has always made each season work out no matter the difficulty we have had to face (big or tiny). He has blessed us abundantly in our marriage, and I don’t see why we have any reason to not trust God with my husband’s job moving forward.
People tend to have a lot of questions about our lives and this job. I have no problem answering any of them. Please feel free to ask here or DM me on Instagram @ gracekbianco.
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