How Many Kids Do I Want?

Coming From Someone Who Doesn’t Have One

Grace Bianco


By Grace K. Bianco

Before you wonder if my husband is having a heart attack reading this, he is very aware.


I have written about how a quick relationship and quick engagement doesn’t mean I want to have a baby quickly. Yet, here I am to emphasize that point once again.

My husband and I waited until marriage, and I made sure to get on good birth control before we got married. I got married at only twenty years old. There is no rush for us to have kids quite yet. We want to enjoy each other and build a strong foundation before having a baby enter the picture.

With all that being said, I still dream about having a baby every day. I even have dreams at night of becoming a mother. Being a stay-at-home mom has been my dream since I was very little, and as I have gotten older, it is still my biggest dream in life.

So, how many do we want?

Our Dream

It’s important to note that my husband and I could plan all day long how many we want and when we want to have them, but at the end of the day, our future family is in God’s hands. We can dream, but God knows exactly what will end up happening.

Right now, we both confidently say four. There was no compromising or debate on that number. We both have six siblings. So, we know how big families work. To us, four is the perfect number.

My oldest sister had a baby almost two months ago, and she laughs and tells me to, “Just wait.” My response is that I can hardly wait. I know it will be a challenge. I know the first baby may scare us with imagining a life with many more, but I truly believe that we will try our best to have a big family.

As much as I want to spend these next couple of years with just my husband, it’s so hard to not long for the future. When I have dreams at night of being a mother, I wake up SO sad. Some days, it is all I can think about.

Before you wonder if my husband is having a heart attack reading this, he is very aware. Again, when it came to waiting to have children, my husband and I did not have to compromise. We BOTH wanted to have a couple of years to ourselves.



Grace Bianco

I am the author of “Party Pooper: Growing up with Anxiety.” I love oversharing my life. I talk about my faith, marriage, mental health, & everything in between.