I lost my virginity to my husband.

BUT not until we were married

By Grace K. Bianco

“You should always test drive a car before buying it.”

This is literally my third blog on this topic. The first one I wrote on my old blog account, and it was before I even met my now husband. The second I wrote on my other blog account, newkindofliving.com, a couple of months after marriage.

I believe very strongly in waiting. It was truly the best decision I ever made. I know not everyone makes this decision, and I won’t judge you for choosing otherwise. But that won’t stop me from sharing my story.

Toxic Purity Culture

I think one of the biggest things people think of when they hear “abstinence” is “toxic” purity culture. I know many people who grew up in the church had to deal with this, and even if they did wait, it impacted their views on sex a lot. I believe the church doesn’t discuss this part of life enough. We know it’s a gift God gave to us, but yet, so many people are lead to believe those feelings are sinful. Discussing sex can seem inappropriate, and so, there just isn’t a whole lot said about it.

I was lucky enough to not be immersed in toxic purity culture. I was just taught that God intended sex for marriage. No one scared me into making that decision. It was heavily encouraged, but ultimately, I decided it was the best decision to make.