Tales of a New Marriage

January 26, 2021

Grace Bianco here. I have been married for eighteen days.

We started the morning off by once again waking up way too late. We decided to go shopping for more household items.

We got a headboard for our bedroom, lamps for our nightstands, a lamp for our living room, and two cheap pillows for our new shams. I also ordered a TV stand and a bookshelf from Wayfair. The house is slowly, but surely, coming together!

The rest of the day consisted of laundry and straightening up the house.

I also did a lot of reading and writing.

Since, I take it by the day on here, there’s a lot of big details about myself that I haven’t discussed. For instance, I struggle with anxiety, and have since the age of four. (You can read my book : “Party Pooper : Growing up with Anxiety” for an in depth look at what my life was really like. Paperback and eBook are available on Amazon!)

Anyways, the older I get, the better I cope with it. However, yesterday, I began to struggle. The world around me became too heavy. My mind filled up with thoughts too fast and too harshly for me to keep up. I could feel my heart start to race. I needed to breathe.

I went into the bedroom. I closed the door. I curled up in a fuzzy blanket. I focused my attention on breathing. My heart continued to race with panic that I couldn’t seem to find the exact cause of. For me, heart racing is a sign that I may have panic attack. Panic attacks are extremely rare for me. Since, I can catch them before they happen, they have become almost nonexistent.

I listened to my breathing. I shut my eyes sorting through my mind to try to find what was causing these sudden feelings. When my husband found me in the bedroom a little later, I was half asleep and already back to feeling better.

I just needed to breathe. My husband’s warm hug brought me back to reality, the reality that I love.

We finished up our leftovers. Thank goodness!! I can’t wait to go grocery shopping tomorrow, and start cooking again.

As our night came to a close, I read while my husband played chest on his phone. Something about doing our own thing in our own little worlds right next to each other made me happy. We could enjoy each other’s company while doing something we enjoy.

It’s one of my goals for 2021 to be intentional with enjoying as much as possible. This is the first year of marriage for us. Some would call it the “Honeymoon phase”. Others would call it the “hardest year”. Some would call it both. Whatever this year brings, I plan to enjoy it as best I can.

Before we fell asleep, we read a chapter from “Dear Romantic” and Genesis. I had another moment of anxiety, and again, my husband had to bring me back down to earth. Somedays, I am the happiest person alive, and other days, I have moments of struggle. But when my body starts to fall asleep every night, it’s rare for me to not be at peace again.

That was a sappy and honest blog, but I tell my day how it really was.

That was my day… How was yours??

See you tomorrow! Until then, follow me on Instagram @ gracekbianco