My best friend lives 2,000+ miles away from me.
The Good & the Ugly of a Long Distance Friendship
By Grace K. Bianco
“I promise we will stay friends.”
I remember hearing my friend, Melody, comforting me as I sobbed a day before she’d move away. All I could think was, “How can this be happening?” She assured me that she’d visit, that we’d call, and that we would text constantly. I wanted to believe her in that moment, but she was moving to California all the way from South Carolina.
I had just turned sixteen, and Melody had turned fourteen the day before my birthday. We had been friends since we were nine and eleven. Our friendship was like one of the ones you’d see in a movie. Our birthdays were a day apart, making the thrill of parties and celebrating that much more exciting. She lived two houses away from me. We stopped asking for sleepovers on the weekend. It was more about which house we would sleep at. I had to tell my parents when she was NOT coming over. And of course, the knocking and the ringing of the doorbell just went away with time.
I couldn’t have had a friend more like a sister than Melody. Then, she ended up having to move faraway.
Have we seen each other since?
It’s been five years since Melody moved, and I am happy to report that she kept to her promises. We still remain BEST friends.
To answer the above question, yes!! I have seen Melody three times in the past five years. However, it was three whole years before we were able to see each other again. We were so young when she left that it was hard for either of us to go across the country.
Melody came back to South Carolina. She has family here and of course, other friends. She spent a few days with us, and then, she had to go around to everyone else who wanted to see her as well.
I remember being so excited that she was coming back for a visit, but I can’t say I wasn’t nervous. We obviously had kept in touch for those three years for her to want to come and stay with my family, but it had been three years since we had seen each other.
As soon as we picked her up, there was not hint of that worry left anywhere in me. It sounds so corny, but it honestly was like she never left.
Working Harder to Stay in Touch
For those three years that we didn’t see each other, it was the occasional texts to keep each other updated, commenting on each other’s Instagram posts, and sometimes, trying to keep a Snapchat streak. There weren’t many calls or much FaceTiming.
When she came back, it was like a flip of a switch for both of us. Since then, we have started sending each other snap videos, like massive amounts. We just talk about what’s going on in our lives, from life changes to things as small as “look at my new backpack”.
It has also worked great for whenever either of us are going through a hard time. We just send each other videos over Snapchat explaining it all and how we feel about it. It’s helped us be able to help each other more despite being so far away.
FaceTiming is more common than before, but it can still be a rare occurrence. There is the timezone and schedule conflicts. It has nothing to do with either of us not wanting to. We ALWAYS talk about doing it, it can just be hard to find the right day and time. Another reason snap videos are so good, we can still hear each other’s voices and send more than we would be able to over text.
My Wedding
Melody came for a visit the summer that I got engaged. It was also the summer after her first visit. She got to meet my now husband right before we got engaged on a later beach trip. I was extremely happy that she was able to come and give me the stamp of approval (kind of joking but not really haha).
She visited towards the end of July. The night I got engaged, I called her to tell her and show her my ring. I also needed to know when her winter break was.
That’s right, I planned my wedding during her winter break in hopes that she’d be able to come. I didn’t want a long engagement, and spring break would be hard to plan around due to it being so much shorter.
Obviously, I made her one of my bridesmaid. She got on a plane January 7, and was able to be there for both my wedding rehearsal and wedding. It was so nice having her there leading up to my wedding and my actual wedding day.
There isn’t much ugly.
In closing, there really isn’t much ugly to our long distance friendship. We keep in close touch, and she was still able to be there for my big day.
I don’t have many close friends, and I (jokingly) blame Melody for that. In my book, “Party Pooper: Growing up with Anxiety”, I wrote an entire chapter on her moving. I titled it, “Goodbye, My Irreplaceable Best Friend”. I haven’t come across another girl best friend like her, and I am okay with that. Melody doesn’t need to be replaced. We are still very close despite the distance.
There are times I wish she was closer. I wish I could just drive to her. I wish our visits didn’t have to be so few and far between.
But how can I really complain? We are still so close. Melody is also thriving where she is now. I hope I will be able to visit her soon, and see more of what her life is like there.
“I promise we will stay friends.” And that we have.
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