Ripping Anxiety’s Dirty Little Hands Off Of My Neck
Freeing Myself From Anxiety
By Grace K. Bianco
The only days I feel close to being free are the days spent with God.
When did anxiety become a debate? One side says it’s a chemical imbalance. The other says it’s controllable. As someone who has dealt with anxiety since the age of four, I don’t even know my own viewpoint 100%. Whatever it is going on in my mind… It can be suffocating, BUT there still is hope either way.
My journey with anxiety started at four years old. I am going on seventeen years with a mind that refuses to relax. As I grow up more and more, whether I am in control or not, I have found that there is at least hope for a better life. I am here to tell you what I have learned. (This is my story. I am not speaking for everyone else. Everyone else has their own story to go with their own journey.)
Coping Mechanisms
What is a coping mechanism?
My definition of a coping mechanism is an activity or thing that can be used to suppress any negative feelings that you are dealing with.
I have quite a few that work for me but only work for a moment. They don’t help long term or “heal” me. It’s about suppression not a cure.
My go-to ways of coping: writing, reading, going for a drive, getting a coffee, watching a movie/show, and listening to my favorite Christian songs.
Even when my mind isn’t spiraling downhill, I still enjoy doing all of those things. However, if I am going through a tougher time, you will see me doing those activities way more.
The Only Time I Breathe
There is one thing to do that has way more of a lasting impact.
Praying.
God is always capable of taking my worries away, but I have to be willing to actually GIVE Him my worries. For many people dealing with anxiety or depression, it’s in our nature to cling to our thoughts/feelings and think through them. It can be harder than it sounds to just give it up.
When I finally reach my point of being able to surrender, I receive so much peace and comfort. The situation may not be gone. I may worry about it again in twenty minutes. BUT I finally have a better understanding that God is still and always will be in control (no matter the situation at hand).
Even if I only have twenty minutes of peace and comfort, I feel my heart rate go down, and my body becomes more relaxed. It’s just enough to make me feel like I handle my next storm.
Freedom
As I mentioned before, coping mechanisms aren’t a lasting cure. They do a great job suppressing our thoughts/feelings. They can be a great distraction, but as soon as you walk away from whatever activity or thing you use to cope, the weight of life will be put right back on your shoulders.
I have found so much freedom in daily worship.
I was talking to a girl that I had just met, and I told her, “On days, I don’t read the Bible or give God a lot of attention… I feel a difference.” It may sound made up to some of you, but I have been seeing a serious pattern with my own eyes.
On days I read the Bible and focused on prayer, I had more patience, and I could feel the joy that God promises to give us. I could be going through a terrible time, but I have way more hope on days God is my biggest focus.
On days I become too focused on life or too “busy”, I feel drained by the end of the day. I feel hopeless and beaten down by my constant anxious thoughts. I am usually much more impatient and irritable.
The only days I feel close to being free are the days spent with God.
Application
I know a big question people ask is, “If God is so good, why won’t He take away all of our troubles?” The answer to that question could be an entire blog, and I most likely will write that blog. For now, I will give a brief summary and use my own life to answer.
It’s been seventeen years of feeling like my mind won’t stop telling me things to worry about. I don’t expect this pain to ever go away, and if it does, all the glory will be God’s.
Whether you believe I can or can’t control my anxious mind, I do believe I have full control of one thing, and that is how I shield myself from all the storms anxiety brings.
This lifelong trial has continually made me run to God. It’s when life is good that it can become a distraction. When I am less worried, I am not always aware of God’s presence, because sometimes, I forget to look for Him.
Our trials bring us closer to God, because we NEED Him even more. It’s sad that it can be so easy to forget God when life is going good. He gives us a break from hardships, and in return, our prayers become less and more of a routine.
Think about the last time you went through something really hard. How much did you pray and worship God?
Now look at where you are today… Are you praying just as much?
Bible Verses for Each Section
Coping Mechanisms: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” — John 14:27
The Only Time I Breathe: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:6–7
Freedom: “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” — Romans 12:12
Application: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” — James 1:2–4
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