Tales of a New Marriage

March 7, 2021

Grace Bianco here. I have been married for fifty-six days.

The morning started off with my husband getting into bed around 7am after working his typical 12 hour night shift. We talked for awhile. I fell back asleep only to wake up again at 9.

I got ready to go to church. I was very tired throughout the church service, but I did everything I could to pay attention.

When I got back home, I fell asleep until a little after two.

I didn’t do much while I waited for my husband to wake up. I assumed he would wake up soon, and I didn’t want to get started on something just to put it away.

I ended up waking my husband up at around 4:40pm. I knew he would need to get ready for work soon.

We laid in bed for a little bit, and as we were getting up, I checked my phone. I had gotten a message from my dad. My grandmother was being taken off of all her medication besides pain medication. My heart dropped to my stomach. She’s my mom’s mom.

My grandmother has had stage four heart failure since 2018. She got diagnosed with some form of cancer not long ago. She survived Covid, but it took a lot out of her. She was in the hospital for three weeks, and no one was able to see her. My mom went to visit her when she got out, and my grandmother had never looked so sickly. Hospice was brought in for around the clock care.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I read the text. I am so far from my family, and I can’t even be there for my mom. My grandmother and I were always so close growing up. I thought she was the most amazing and down to earth grandmother that ever lived. When she first started having heart troubles, I felt like my world was crashing down.

It’s a miracle she made it this many years, but it doesn’t take away from the pain that she could pass away any second. It’s also painful to think about my mom, and the grief she is going through.

My husband pulled me into his arms. Tears streamed down my face, but I wiped them away.

You can cry later. You have all night,” I told myself.

I packed my husband’s food, and sat in the room while he got ready for work. I smiled as much as I could, trying to pretend that I never received that message.

I kissed and hugged him goodbye.

I held it together for quite some time. I read and wrote some. I even did an at-home workout. Until, I suddenly couldn’t keep it together. I cried off and on for the rest of the night.

I was all alone in a house with no one to talk to. Thoughts and memories of my grandmother were going through my head. I texted my older sister. I sent Snapchat videos to my best friend. I had to at least acknowledge what was going on to someone.

At 2am, I fell asleep. At 5:45am, I woke up to unlock the door for my husband. At 6:20am, I woke up, and reality hit again.

(I will pick up tomorrow where I left off today.)

That was my day… How was yours??

See you tomorrow!! Until then, follow me on instagram @ gracekbianco for more!!

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I am the author of “Party Pooper: Growing up with Anxiety.” I love oversharing my life. I talk about my faith, marriage, mental health, and anything in between.

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Grace Bianco

Grace Bianco

I am the author of “Party Pooper: Growing up with Anxiety.” I love oversharing my life. I talk about my faith, marriage, mental health, and anything in between.

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