Tales of a New Marriage

February 5, 2021

Grace Bianco here. I have been married for twenty-eight days.

The morning started off with me getting up and going to work just like every other day this past week.

Work was stressful. I don’t have a hard job. In fact, I like my job so much that I do it “for fun”, because we don’t “need” the money. (The quotations are there to emphasize that although we don’t need the money… The extra money does help, and I am still working for the money. I just happen to enjoy it as well.)

I got home and went on a rant about how my day was.

My husband heated me up some food. I laid on the couch for a bit. Then, I went to the bedroom to take a nap. “I will wake up feeling refreshed,” I told myself.

I ended up completely knocking out. My husband had to come and wake me, because we had agreed to go to the gym. I was groggy.

Groggy, however, was the least of my problems. My stomach hurt horribly. I just didn’t feel right. I decided working out would help me feel better, and I kept it to myself that I didn’t feel well.

As we worked out, my stomach began to feel like it was twisting around. By the last set of reps, I was holding my stomach.

I turned to my husband, “My stomach hurts really bad.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. It just really hurts.”

“You better not be pregnant.” (The first thought of every man when their wife doesn’t feel well haha.)

“There’s no way. I have an IUD. It’s not unusual for me to have a stomachache.”

When we came home, I still managed to cook dinner after taking some Midol. I just made bowtie noodles with Italian sausage in sauce and homemade garlic bread. I was able to eat.

I cleaned up dinner, and sat on the floor. As my stomach grumbled with discomfort, I had thoughts bursting through my head. It was happening again. I could feel myself shutting down. I was frustrated with myself. I don’t want to be one of those moody people, who no one can ever predict how they feel. I crossed my fingers hoping my husband wouldn’t notice as I thought through my thoughts.

I struggle with anxiety and (on super rare occasions) depressive thoughts (most likely due to either birth control or Accutane). Somedays, I am the happiest person alive, and other days, I just feel like I am moving in slow motion.

I didn’t even read or write yesterday.

My husband did end up noticing when we got into bed around 8. He gave me some affirmations as he lay there burning hot and sleepy in our bed.

He’s had a very persistent cold. So, he was in out of sleep from about 8–10pm while I laid there next to him. I, finally, fell asleep around 10:30.

That’s how our night was ended… by going to sleep haha.

That was my day… How was yours??

See you tomorrow!! Until then, follow me on instagram @ gracekbianco for more !!