Tales of a New Marriage

March 8, 2021

Grace Bianco here. I have been married for fifty-seven.

(Picking up where I left off yesterday.)

At 2am, I fell asleep. At 5:45am, I woke up to unlock the door for my husband. At 6:20am, I woke up, and reality hit again.

By the time, my husband got into the room at 7am. I was just trying to keep it together. I just needed to ask how his night at work was, and then, not speak. I didn’t want to cry as soon as he got off of work.

I was just so groggy and full of grief and guilt.

As hard as I tried, the tears came pouring out of my eyes.

After awhile of my husband and I talking through things and talking about my grandmother, we fell asleep. Well, it took me a little bit longer to actually fall asleep. The tears just wouldn’t stop. My pillow was soaked, and I didn’t want to disturb my husband. So, I laid as still as possible and focused on breathing.

I was in and out of sleep until 1:30pm.

I was exhausted once I finally woke up. My grandmother (Mom’s mom) was dying in another state, and I had hardly talked to my mom since I had left. Grief is a tiring and draining emotion, and I wasn’t just grieving my grandmother… I was grieving for my mom. I can’t imagine the pain she is going through, and I feel so far away to do anything.

I had to get on with my day. I got dressed, and went to sit outside.

The sun was so warm, and there was a nice breeze.

After sitting out there for awhile, I came inside and read the Bible.

I spent most of the afternoon on my phone, and talking here and there to my husband’s coworker who lives with us.

At 4:30pm, I went into the bedroom to wake up my husband. As much as I want him to wake up, I don’t like waking him up, but I know he likes time to wake up and get ready for work.

Once he left, I got on FaceTime with the two little boys I nannied for before leaving with my husband.

I spent the rest of the night finishing another book I had started. I wasn’t a super big fan of it.

I did some writing and thinking about my writing for a little while.

I ended the night with watching “Horton Hears a Who”. Disney+ is the reason for all of the kids’ movies recently lol. I fell asleep at about 1:30am.

That was my day… How was yours??

See you tomorrow!! Until then, follow me on instagram @ gracekbianco for more!!

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Grace Bianco

Grace Bianco

I am the author of “Party Pooper: Growing up with Anxiety.” I love oversharing my life. I talk about my faith, marriage, mental health, and anything in between.