That’s Just How So-And-So Is

PLEASE stop excusing bad behaviors.

Grace Bianco


By Grace K. Bianco

Life is constantly changing. It’s good to change with it.

Photo by hay s on Unsplash

“People don’t change.”


The saying should go, “Don’t expect people to change.”

What’s the difference?

Saying people don’t change gives them no motivation to do so. Whereas, saying not to expect change helps YOU. You can’t force someone to change who they are to fit what you want, but don’t be a crutch or put up with it.

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A few months ago, I read one of Klara Jane Holloway’s posts titled, “My Mother Should Have Protected Me From My Uncle’s Sexual Advances: This is kids don’t ‘tell’ on their abusers.” By the title, you already know that you will feel a rage like no other while reading it.

There was one line that absolutely made me want to scream. When she tried speaking up, Klara was told, “That’s just how Uncle Chester is.”

I was already so heartbroken by the story, but I was enraged for the rest of the story.

I have always had this extreme pet peeve and aversion to that kind of line. When I read Klara’s article all those months ago, I knew I would eventually have to write about it.

Photo by James Orr on Unsplash

I used an extreme case to start this article off, but I can’t stand hearing it over the tiniest of things.

Here’s a real life example I’ve seen to give you a better idea of a smaller instance:

I know a guy who is an extreme procrastinator. He puts everything off as long as possible, and will even be too late a lot of the time.

Everyone who knows him will say things like, “That’s just how he is,” or “He’s always been like that.”



Grace Bianco

I am the author of “Party Pooper: Growing up with Anxiety.” I love oversharing my life. I talk about my faith, marriage, mental health, & everything in between.