The First Blog I Ever Wrote 3 Years Ago

Praying that my writing has improved since.

By Grace K. Bianco

Such long paragraphs with hardly anything said.

Me at eighteen

When I started blogging, I had no idea what I was doing. Honestly, I don’t even know why I started in the first place. I had just dropped out of college, and for some reason, I had an urge to make a long announcement about it. So, I got out my computer and began designing a blog on blogspot.

I had no plans. I had no expectations. I just wrote, and figured if anyone wanted to know why I dropped out, they could read for themselves.

The blog ended up getting ninety-six views, and I was beyond thrilled. It’s easy for your expectations to be exceeded when you have none. After that I wrote weekly, I shared many updates, discussed my opinions on certain things, and wrote openly about my struggle with anxiety.

My life has changed a lot since my first blog, and my writing style has changed in a few ways as well. I thought it would be fun for us all to reflect on a young eighteen year old Grace, who had absolutely no idea what she was doing with her life.

An Exact Copy and Paste (NO edits!!)

September 7, 2021 “why did i drop out in the first place”

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Jeremiah 29:11

Let me introduce myself a little. I am Grace. I love working with little kids. I have been in a relationship since I was 14. My boyfriend and I bought a dog together when I was 16, and it is my most prized possession lol. I have a huge family. There is a total of nine of us. I will break it down quickly. (I will probably make a blog post later specifically on the adoptions of each of my four siblings.)

1. My Dad
2. My Mom
3. Kristen (sister, age 26)
4. Adam (brother, age 25)
5. Anastasia (sister, adopted, age 19)
6. Dariya (sister, adopted, age 18)
7. Me (age 18)
8. Dennis (brother, adopted, age 16)
9. Lily Faith (sister, adopted, age 7)

I have always been a good kid. I never got into a lot of trouble at home or at school. I got good grades. I had a total of 24 college credit hours by the time I graduated high school. I longed to be a preschool teacher. It was a strong passion of mine. I did two different internships at two different schools (elementary and preschool) during my time in high school. I had interned for a little over 90 hours. I loved interning at schools, but leading up to graduation, teaching just did not feel right anymore. I decided I would become a certified sonographer.

All my life college always seemed to be a definite thing for me. I enrolled in my classes for the fall and bought my books. Still, I did not feel right. I prayed a lot. Leading up to my first week, I felt like God was really trying to guide me down a completely different path. I had told my family I did not want to go, and they just told me, “No one really wants to start.” They assured me I was doing the right thing. As much as I wanted to believe I was doing the right thing, I just did not feel right. I could not picture myself a month into college. I could not picture myself becoming a sonographer. School started, and I went to class for a week.

Kristen, my oldest sister, pulled me aside that Saturday afternoon to talk, and I told her I hated college. I told her I did not feel like I was doing what God wanted for me. She took me so seriously and understood why I felt that way. It was a shock to me, because I was literally in college for only a week. I was surprised that she did not tell me to wait it out. Later that Saturday evening, I talked to my boyfriend, and eventually, he also came to understand where I was coming from. Next, it was my parents. All my life I did everything I could to make them proud, and now, I had to tell them I wanted to drop out. I prayed. If God really wanted me to do this, my parents would support me and be totally cool with it. Late Sunday afternoon, I told them, and they supported me 110%. They even were listing off ideas of things I could do instead of going to college. By Tuesday, I was officially a dropout.

Fast forward two weeks, I am now living happily. I am currently looking at being a full-time nanny or working at a daycare. I am waiting patiently for a job I know I will love and enjoy fully. God didn’t bring me to this point to abandon me. This is only the beginning. For all my readers, please follow my journey. I will post updates, encouraging thoughts, and so much more. By the end of this year, I will be able to answer the question… Was it worth it?

My Thoughts

My favorite thing is how massive the paragraphs are. I am the complete opposite now. I like short paragraphs. Some of my “paragraphs” are only a sentence long. In the beginning, I basically summed up random parts of my entire life just to say that I didn’t feel like college was right for me. Such long paragraphs with hardly anything said.

It is also SUPER short without a single picture. If you have read any of my other blogs, you know I love to go on and on. I like to put random pictures in all the sections to break up all the writing.

Another funny keynote here is that the boyfriend I am referring to is not my husband now. I ended up breaking with the guy I refer to in the blog in December of 2018. My husband came into the picture almost exactly a year later. It’s just funny to me, because I thought my biggest life change would be just dropping out of college. Little did I know that I would also be leaving a four relationship soon after.

Most Recent Photo of Me

If I were to write this blog again, it would be completely different. The entire beginning would be erased. I am honestly tempted to write it again just to see how much my style of writing has changed. Maybe a part two?

I love how my writing has changed through the years. Who knows maybe there will come a day where I cringe at all of my Medium blogs too. If that’s the case, I will definitely write a blog on that too.

I have loved reminiscing and cringing with you all. Until next time! (;

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Also, check out my more personal blog newkindofliving.com ❤

My book, Party Pooper: Growing up with Anxiety, is available now on Amazon (eBook and Paperback).