The First Blog I Ever Wrote 3 Years Ago
Praying that my writing has improved since.
By Grace K. Bianco
Such long paragraphs with hardly anything said.
When I started blogging, I had no idea what I was doing. Honestly, I don’t even know why I started in the first place. I had just dropped out of college, and for some reason, I had an urge to make a long announcement about it. So, I got out my computer and began designing a blog on blogspot.
I had no plans. I had no expectations. I just wrote, and figured if anyone wanted to know why I dropped out, they could read for themselves.
The blog ended up getting ninety-six views, and I was beyond thrilled. It’s easy for your expectations to be exceeded when you have none. After that I wrote weekly, I shared many updates, discussed my opinions on certain things, and wrote openly about my struggle with anxiety.
My life has changed a lot since my first blog, and my writing style has changed in a few ways as well. I thought it would be fun for us all to reflect on a young eighteen year old Grace, who had absolutely no idea what she was doing with her life.
An Exact Copy and Paste (NO edits!!)
September 7, 2021 “why did i drop out in the first place”
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Jeremiah 29:11
Let me introduce myself a little. I am Grace. I love working with little kids. I have been in a relationship since I was 14. My boyfriend and I bought a dog together when I was 16, and it is my most prized possession lol. I have a huge family. There is a total of nine of us. I will break it down quickly. (I will probably make a blog post later specifically on the adoptions of each of my four siblings.)
- My Dad
- My Mom
- Kristen (sister, age 26)
- Adam (brother, age 25)
- Anastasia (sister, adopted, age 19)
- Dariya (sister, adopted, age 18)
- Me (age 18)
- Dennis (brother, adopted, age 16)
- Lily Faith (sister, adopted, age 7)
I have always been a good kid. I never got into a lot of trouble at home or at school. I got good grades. I had a total of 24 college credit hours by the time I graduated high school. I longed to be a preschool teacher. It was a strong passion of mine. I did two different internships at two different schools (elementary and preschool) during my time in high school. I had interned for a little over 90 hours. I loved interning at schools, but leading up to graduation, teaching just did not feel right anymore. I decided I would become a certified sonographer.
All my life college always seemed to be a definite thing for me. I enrolled in my classes for the fall and bought my books. Still, I did not feel right. I prayed a lot. Leading up to my first week, I felt like God was really trying to guide me down a completely different path. I had told my family I did not want to go, and they just told me, “No one really wants to start.” They assured me I was doing the right thing. As much as I wanted to believe I was doing the right thing, I just did not feel right. I could not picture myself a month into college. I could not picture myself becoming a sonographer. School started, and I went to class for a week.
Kristen, my oldest sister, pulled me aside that Saturday afternoon to talk, and I told her I hated college. I told her I did not feel like I was doing what God wanted for me. She took me so seriously and understood why I felt that way. It was a shock to me, because I was literally in college for only a week. I was surprised that she did not tell me to wait it out. Later that Saturday evening, I talked to my boyfriend, and eventually, he also came to understand where I was coming from. Next, it was my parents. All my life I did everything I could to make them proud, and now, I had to tell them I wanted to drop out. I prayed. If God really wanted me to do this, my parents would support me and be totally cool with it. Late Sunday afternoon, I told them, and they supported me 110%. They even were listing off ideas of things I could do instead of going to college. By Tuesday, I was officially a dropout.
Fast forward two weeks, I am now living happily. I am currently looking at being a full-time nanny or working at a daycare. I am waiting patiently for a job I know I will love and enjoy fully. God didn’t bring me to this point to abandon me. This is only the beginning. For all my readers, please follow my journey. I will post updates, encouraging thoughts, and so much more. By the end of this year, I will be able to answer the question… Was it worth it?
My Thoughts
My favorite thing is how massive the paragraphs are. I am the complete opposite now. I like short paragraphs. Some of my “paragraphs” are only a sentence long. In the beginning, I basically summed up random parts of my entire life just to say that I didn’t feel like college was right for me. Such long paragraphs with hardly anything said.
It is also SUPER short without a single picture. If you have read any of my other blogs, you know I love to go on and on. I like to put random pictures in all the sections to break up all the writing.
Another funny keynote here is that the boyfriend I am referring to is not my husband now. I ended up breaking with the guy I refer to in the blog in December of 2018. My husband came into the picture almost exactly a year later. It’s just funny to me, because I thought my biggest life change would be just dropping out of college. Little did I know that I would also be leaving a four relationship soon after.
If I were to write this blog again, it would be completely different. The entire beginning would be erased. I am honestly tempted to write it again just to see how much my style of writing has changed. Maybe a part two?
I love how my writing has changed through the years. Who knows maybe there will come a day where I cringe at all of my Medium blogs too. If that’s the case, I will definitely write a blog on that too.
I have loved reminiscing and cringing with you all. Until next time! (;
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Also, check out my more personal blog newkindofliving.com ❤
My book, Party Pooper: Growing up with Anxiety, is available now on Amazon (eBook and Paperback).
